Leaving a Legacy of Godliness (Eph. 5:18-21)

Leaving a Legacy of Godliness
Ephesians 5:18-21

INTRODUCTION
The big, bold headlines of the Sports Illustrated cover story read, "MICKEY MANTLE: The Legacy of the Last Great Player on the Last Great Team."

Indeed, "The Mick" had left an enormous legacy to the game of baseball. He had been Mr. Baseball to an entire generation. The Tape Measure Kid. The Bronx Bomber. No. 7 in those immortal Yankee pinstripes.

Mickey Mantle was its greatest baseball superstar, an American icon who loomed larger than life. Millions of young boys grew up wearing Mickey's No. 7 on their Little League jerseys, dreaming of one day becoming just like their enshrined hero.

But unknown to his admiring fans, this young, blossoming superstar was being driven to self-destructive alcoholism and a life of regrets. On the field, he was America's perennial M.V.P. But off the field, he was becoming crude and obscene through the influence of bar-hopping teammates. He was growing into a wayward husband and distant father, ignoring his wife Merlyn, and four sons Mickey Jr., David, Billy, and Danny.

In the end, Mantle painfully admitted, "I always felt like I wasn't there for my kids."

Under his direct influence, two of his sons became alcoholics, one entering the Betty Ford Center for treatment. "When they were old enough." Mantle confessed, "we became drinking buddies." Tragically, another son died at age thirty-six of an addiction to painkilling drugs. "If I'd gone to Betty Ford sooner, Billy might still be here," a guilt-ridden Mantle lamented. "If I hadn't been drinking, I might have been able to keep him off drugs.”

Idolized by millions, The Mick struck out at home.

In the end, Mantle sought to change his life-and did. But by then, it was too late to undo the years of destructive influence upon his family.

Days after his death, the cover of another magazine, People Magazine, the headline read, "THE PRIVATE MICKEY MANTLE: He Played Hard and Lived Harder; Often at his Family's Expense." On the glossy cover was the full face picture of a young, handsome, twenty-four-year-old Mantle, possessed with explosive athletic ability and superstar potential.

But in the lower left-hand corner was a second photograph. A small insert on the cover portrayed the bitter ending of Mantle's premature death. Here was the sobering picture of his casket being carried by his pallbearers representing his old life.

The stark contrast between these two pictures spoke volumes about Mantle's two lasting legacies. One photo showed a young superstar with a bright future before him, ready to leave his mark on the game for generations to come. But the other picture revealed this famous father being carried in a casket, having squandered the most important legacy he could have ever left.

His place in history as a baseball player was secure, his legacy as a father was forever lost.

Leaving a spiritual legacy begins with the personal character of every dad. Who we are determines what we leave behind. By and large, godly children come from godly parents. Certainly there are exceptions. By His saving power, there are children saved out of godless homes to become trophies of His grace. But for the most part, godly children come out of godly homes where godly fathers live godly lives. Because like produces like.

If Jesus Christ is to be real in the lives of our children, then He must first be real in our own lives. We cannot leave what we do not live. We cannot pass on what we do not possess. In fathering, the primary issue is always our own character. Who we are is more important than what we do. Fathering begins deep within ourselves with our own daily walk with God. In a word, it begins with godliness.

The most important question any father can ask himself is, "Am I living a godly life? How can I be more godly?"

With this in mind, I want us to look at Ephesians 5:18-21 in order to discover what marks of godliness must be present in our lives if we are to leave a legacy that lasts. The greatest thing any dad can do for his kids is to be spiritual man.

DADS, BE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT - Eph. 5:18:
First, any father who leaves a legacy that lasts must have a relationship with Jesus Christ and be filled with the Holy Spirit. The experience of the new birth radically altars the direction of any man's life. Only God's Spirit can empower us to be the men He wants us to be.

None of us can be an effective father in our own strength. In order for this to be real, Jesus Christ must be the undisputed Lord of our life. And, I might add, we can't fake this at home. Our kids can spot a phony a mile off.

What does it mean to be Spirit-filled?

The word "filled" means "to be controlled by, to be dominated by, to be under the influence of." We received all of the Holy Spirit we will ever have the moment we were baptized. To be Spirit-filled doesn't mean we get more of the Holy Spirit. Rather, the Holy Spirit gets more of us. As we yield our lives to the Holy Spirit, He fills us with the fullness of His presence and He controls, guides, and energizes us.

Don't miss the fact that the apostle Paul is making a deliberate contrast here. The text has two parts one negative; one positive. Negatively, he says, "don't get drunk." Positively, he says, "Be filled with the Spirit." Just as a drunk man is said to be under the influence of alcohol, so those who are filled with the Spirit come under the influence of the living God. When a person is drunk with wine, he acts "out of character." He says things he doesn't normally say. He does things he doesn't normally do. He acts with a strange, new boldness.

In just the same way, when a man is filled with the Holy Spirit, he comes under the influence of God. He, too, acts "out of character." His own personality becomes God-like, or godly. He says things he doesn't normally say. He does things he normally doesn't do. A Spirit-filled person is under the direct influence of Jesus Christ and lives supernaturally.

Dads, being Spirit-filled is not an option. It is a divine command requiring our absolute obedience. At any given moment, we are either controlled by the Holy Spirit or by our flesh (Galatians 5:16). Consequently, our homes are either a little bit of heaven or a little bit of hell, depending upon what influence is leading us, but rarely anything in between. When we are carnal, our families are marked by disputes, anger, arguments, selfishness, impatience, and intolerance (Galatians 5:19-21). But when we are controlled by, filled with the Spirit, our families are marked by the fruit of the Spirit -love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

The pivotal question is, Who is controlling us? self? Or the Spirit?

This is critically important because our children are imitating us more than we realize. Our speech, our actions, our priorities, our interests are all being mimicked by our kids and ingrained in their lives.

But there's more. A Spirit-filled dad will be a singing dad.

DADS, BE SINGING! - Eph. 5:19:
A godly dad will be a worshiper of the true God who transforms his home into a place of praise. His house will be a place where God is glorified. When God's Spirit controls us, He puts a new song in our hearts, causing us to overflow with praise for Him. A Spirit-filled dad will be known by the praise heard coming from his lips. As the spiritual leader of his home, only a Spirit-controlled dad can be the family worship leader.

Fathers have always been recognized as the worship leaders of their own homes. In ancient days, Abraham built an altar wherever the Lord led him in the Promised Land (Genesis 12:7,8; 13:4,18). Likewise, Job, a contemporary of the patriarchs, built an altar and offered sacrifices on behalf of his children (Job 1:5). When God gave the Law to Moses, He required the fathers of Israel to teach their family His Word in their homes (Deut. 6:5-9). In the book of Proverbs, dad is presented as the primary teacher of God's wisdom in the home (Proverbs 1-9). Deep within the recesses of their hearts, godly dads possess a burning, passionate love for Jesus Christ. Their lives are clearly marked with a fervent faith in God. Praise is ever on their lips.

Worship is primary to passing down a godly heritage to our children. Since worship is the ultimate priority of all creation (Psalm 150; John 4:24; Romans 11:36), it must be a vital part of every father's life. God is real in our lives only to the extent that we worship Him.

Dad, do you worship God? Do you live a life of praise? Is there a song in your heart to the Lord? Do your kids see this in your life?

Worship is contagious. When our kids see us magnifying the name of God and sense His preeminence in our lives, they will soon want to do the same. It's as much caught as it is taught.

Here is a Norman Rockwell painting from 1961. It is a picture of a Sunday morning church scene in which a father and his son are worshipping together. Both are dressed exactly the same - identical gray suits, white shirts, striped navy ties, and white carnations on their lapels. It is clear that this boy is getting his signals from his dad and is following in close step. But there’s more.

Most importantly, both are holding a hymnal. As the father holds his hymnal with one hand, he is helping his son turn to the right page with the other hand. With one hand, he worships; with the other, he helps his son do the same. Side by side, they are engaged together in praising God.

This painting speaks volumes. It portrays worship for what it is, vitally important in the life of a father, who in turn is influencing his son to do the same.

Dad, you are the worship leader in your house. When God is real to you, He will become real in the lives of your children. When He is important to you, He will become important to your kids. Such is the powerful influence of any father upon his family.

DADS, BE SATISFIED! - 5:20:
A godly dad will have a thankful heart. Either we will be humbly grateful, or grumbly hateful. Unfortunately, many homes have an old grump for it's head when it ought to have a man who is ever giving thanks to God.

Undoubtedly, our attitude is the thermostat that controls the climate at home. When we come home growling, grumbling, and griping, a negative cloud hovers over our house. But if we come home with a grateful heart, the mood at home will be pleasant and positive. We should exude an "attitude of gratitude” that is constantly expressing thanks to God, no matter what our trial at work, or regardless of what has gone wrong at home. We must always demonstrate a thankful spirit before our family.

Paul says we are to offer thanks "for all things." In other words, in every circumstance of life--whether it be good or bad- there is the opportunity to see God at work for His glory and for our good. We must always see "Romans 8:28" written over every situation, always believing that God will cause all things to work together for good in every situation.

Unthankful dads are bad advertisements for the Lord. If we are always complaining about the preacher, constantly criticizing a church program, or forever grumbling about so-and-so at church, is it any wonder our children won't have anything to do with the Lord when they grow up? They often reject Christianity, not because Christ is so irrelevant, but because dad was so negative. A sour spirit poisons a legacy of faith.

But when dad is marked by a thankful spirit, Christianity becomes contagious. In such homes, kids can even fail, yet not diminish their dad's positive spirit. When we are constantly offering thanks to the Lord for the good we see in our children, they are drawn to Christ and to us like bees to honey.

Dad, how do you respond to bad news around your house? When the car breaks down what is your response? When the washing machine stops working? When the lawn mower gives up the ghost? How you respond to life's circumstances communicates volumes to young hearts. More important than your I.Q. is your “G.Q.” - your Gratitude Quotient. Have a grateful attitude and your household will catch it.
This leads to Paul's final challenge:

DADS, BE SUBMISSIVE! - Eph. 5:21:
As godly fathers, we must be submissive to the needs of our wife and children. While dads are the spiritual leaders of their homes, they are not to lord it over their family, Rather we are to live in humble submission to them, considering their interests to be more important than our own.

Clearly, every family member is to be submissive to each other - wives to husbands, husbands to wives, children to parents, parents to children. In what way are fathers to be submissive to their children? Certainly we are assigned by God to a position of authority over their lives. So, how are we to be submissive to them? The answer is, we are to submit our interests to those of our children. While we do not submit ourselves to their authority, we are to be subject to what will most benefit them. Such self-denial will mark every father who is controlled by the Spirit.

Men, God calls us to be servant-leaders at home, men who lay down our lives for our families. That's what it means to be subject to the interests of our family. If we are to be over them in authority, then we must be under them in humility.

Men, this is what we must do for our children's needs, sacrificing our preferences for their good. God will use our self-humiliation to prepare their hearts to receive Christ, to walk with Him daily, and to live successfully.

I can only lead my family properly to the extent that I am rightly related to God. Every dad must, first, have a right relationship with God before he can have a right relationship with his kids. Every father must first be a follower of Christ before he can be a leader of his children.

Men, has Christ become a present reality in your life? Have you committed your life to Him by faith? Have you believed in your heart that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Have you received Him to be your personal Lord and Savior? And are you walking closely to Him in personal holiness?

The greatest thing you can do for your kids is to love Jesus Christ and experience His life-changing power daily.

Men, the power of God changes our lives. And when it does, such a transformation will be obvious to our children. When they observe our changed lives, they will want the same.

Take home message: Let us live a godly life. And as we do, we will leave a godly legacy for our children to possess. Because like produces like.