The Art of Loving: Be an Encourager

The Art of Loving: Be an Encourager
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

INTRODUCTION:
Shortly after the Civil War, in a New England mental institution, there was a little girl named Little Annie who was partially blind. She was kept in a room in the basement, believed to be helplessly insane.

There was an elderly nurse who worked at the institution who was practically the only person who believed differently. During lunch, the nurse would carry her food downstairs and eat near Little Annie. She refused to give up on the little girl - she kept encouraging her; she left brownies - but they weren’t eaten.

But after some time, the brownies started disappearing. Eventually, the little girl opened up to the nurse. Then she was moved to be with other children. She was found to be mentally competent. When she grew up, she did not want to leave the institution. She wanted to stay and help other kids. She became a teacher.

Now let’s fast-forward several years, to Great Britain. Queen Victoria awarded Britain’s highest civilian honor to Helen Keller. Helen was both blind and deaf, you remember. Yet she graduated with honors from Radcliffe College. The queen asked her, “How do you account for the fact that although you were both deaf and blind, you were able to accomplish so much?”

Helen answered without delay, “If it had not been for Annie Sullivan, the world would never have known of Helen Keller.”

Annie Sullivan was that little girl locked up in that mental institution. Not only was Annie Sullivan one who pioneered techniques of education for the handicapped, but she helped promote the American Foundation for the Blind. She lived a full and productive life.

So, behind Helen Keller’s success was Annie Sullivan. Behind Annie Sullivan was that elderly nurse whose name is forgotten, but whose love lived on in the encouragement she gave to that little love-starved little girl.

On the first Sunday of each month in 2022, we are studying “The Art of Loving,” in which we are trying to remind ourselves that we need to love like Jesus loved. In 1 Corinthians 13:5, Paul writes that love “does not seek its own.” Love - Christ-like love - seeks the good of others by encouraging, believing in them, cheering for them to do the best they can.

A study was done on the lack of encouragement in children and what effect it would have on them. This was done at Springfield College in MA. A group was put in a room and told to draw a detailed picture of a man. Then they were told to draw a second picture of the man, but better. When they had finished the 2nd drawing, they were told to draw a third picture of the man, but make it even better.

These kids were neither criticized nor encouraged. They were simply told to do better. One child refused to draw any. Most of the kids got angry. And in fact, their pictures got progressively worse as a whole.

There was another experiment that was reported in Psychology Today that showed that a simple smile by a college professor giving an exam made a noticeable difference in how well the students performed. Everybody needs encouragement.

One man’s memory of his favorite Sunday school teacher was that she came to visit him on Monday if he’d been sick the day before. She gave him a little five-cent toy that was worth a million dollars to him. Then she said something like this: “Johnny, I always teach better when you’re in my class.” She said, “The next time you’re in class, raise your hand - and I’ll teach better.” The man said he noticed a lot of kids were raising their hands - and the class kept getting bigger.

Encouragement.

MAKE IT A HABIT:
Most of the time, whether we realize it or not, we are either encouraging or discouraging. We either have a positive or a negative impact on others. So, we need to make it a habit to look for ways to lift the spirits of people we are around and whom we meet.

Edgar Guest:

I watched them tearing a building down,
A gang of men in a busy town.
With a ho-heave-ho and a lusty yell,
They swung a beam, and the side wall fell.
I asked a foreman, “Are these men skilled,
As the men you’d hire if you had to build?”
He gave a laugh and said: “No, indeed!
Just common labor is all you need.
I can easily wreck in a day or two
What builders have taken a year to do.”

And I thought to myself as I went my way,
Which of the roles have I tried to play?
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by the rule and square?
Am I shaping my deeds to a well-made plan,
Patiently doing the best I can?
Or am I a wrecker who walks the town,
Content with the labor of tearing down?

You and I, as children of God, are supposed to be builders, not wreckers. We can either be “balcony people” - pulling others up; or “basement people” - pulling others down.

In this connection, consider the words of the Hebrew writer in 10:24-25: “let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” In fact, 13 times in 13 chapters, the Hebrew writer says “let us…” do something. Notice that those are words of encouragement. Perhaps that’s the reason he calls is letter a “word of encouragement” (13:22). In fact, the Hebrew writer has fifty verbs in the first person plural (“we”)!

IT’S THE BEST WAY TO LIVE:
Listen to the words of Paul in Romans 12:9-13 and how it relates to being an encourager. Turn over to Romans 14:19-21 and listen to Paul’s words relative to encouragement. This same word translated “building up” in 14:19 is translated “edification” in 15:2. Look at where this same word - the noun and its verb - are used:

1 Corinthians 8:1, 10; 14:3-5, 12, 17, 26
2 Corinthians 5:1; 10:8; 12:19; 13:10
Ephesians 2:21; 4:12, 16, 29
1 Thessalonians 5:11

One verse I like to use is Acts 20:32.

Trying to build others up is the very best way to live. If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone else!

Travis Rusheon Dardell was stuck at a traffic light one day and he glanced out the window into a music shop where a piano was on display. A man sat at the keyboard, playing for all he was worth. He could not hear a single note but he watched the man play his song. When the man finished, he caught the eye of Mr. Dardell. Dardell applauded and mouthed the words, “Bravo! Bravo!” The man in the window then turned toward the street and did his best “maestro” bow he could. They both laughed. Both those men encouraged each other that day.

Thomas Malone observed that most emotional problems can be summed up as a person walking around screaming, “Someone love me!” Healthy people are those walking around looking for someone else to love.

There was a 6-year old little girl who had a little brother who was struck with infantile paralysis. They lived near a railroad track where the locomotive City of Denver went flying by once a week.

The little girl took her helpless brother in a wagon up to the fence beside the track. She scanned the rails for the train. She knew it was coming soon. She heard the whistle in the distance and she flew into action. She pulled her brother out of the wagon, raised him to a standing position so he could grasp the rail of the fence. Then she lowered her head and put it into his back to hold him up while he watched as the train flew by.

An onlooker was amazed and said to the little girl, “Darling, you didn’t get to see the train yourself.” The little girl paused as she was putting her brother back into the wagon. Then she said softly, “I saw the train before he got sick.”

Putting others ahead of ourselves is the way we strengthen our own spirits.

HOW CAN WE ENCOURAGE OTHERS?
There are actually a thousand small ways we can encourage others every day.

Give a simple smile. A smile conveys a feeling of confidence in the other person. It suggests positive expectations of the other person. It releases tension. Smile at children and they’ll smile back.

Say a kind word. Words of approval, praise, encouragement. Charles Schwab once said, “In my wide association in life, meeting many men in various parts of the world, I have yet to find the man, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism.”

The tone of voice we use can also make a great difference. A refugee had finally found a job in America after several months, but hadn’t yet been able to save enough money to send for his wife. One day he received a letter from her, written in English by a helpful person in the refugee camp where she lived. Since he couldn’t read English, he asked a neighbor to read it to him.

The neighbor was an ill-tempered, mad-at-the-world type with a grumpy voice. He read in an angry tone: “Why haven’t you sent for me? I need the money right away!”

The immigrant grabbed the letter from his neighbor’s hand and said, “She has no right to speak to me like that! I’m doing the best I can!”

A few weeks later, he received another letter from his wife, again in English. This time, the man asked a man who had a gentle and compassionate nature. In a soft, pleasant voice, the man read, “Did you get my last letter? Why haven’t you sent for me? I need the money right away.”

“Well!” said the immigrant. “That’s better. If she hadn’t changed her tone, I wouldn’t have sent for her.”

The tone of voice we use is so important. Babies respond to our tone of voice. They can’t understand our words but they sure can pick up on how we speak.

We also encourage by acts of love and kindness. There was a woman who had a tumor in her cheek and had to have it removed. In doing that, a small nerve was severed and the young woman’s face was twisted permanently into a kind of clownish way.

Her husband came into the room after the operation and stood next to her bed. They touched either other tenderly. The woman asked her surgeon, “Will my mouth always be like this?”

“Yes it will,” he said. “The nerve is cut.”

She nodded in somber silence. But her husband smiled and said, “I like it. It’s kind of cute.” He bent over and kissed his wife, twisting his own lips to fit the contour of her lips and showed that they could still kiss!

It was such a simple act but spoke volumes in encouragement!

Finally, we can encourage others just by being good listeners. Most of us like to hear ourselves talk. But there are a lot of hurting people who need someone to simply listen. Often, that’s the best way we can show we care.

A young man wrote Ann Landers. He had tried to commit suicide. “If people want to help, they can.” He wrote. “Here are a few things anybody can do. Smile more even to people you don’t know. Touch people. Look them in the eye. Let them know you’re aware they exist. Be concerned about those you work with. Listen when they talk to you. Spend an extra minute. If someone has a problem, just listening means more than you’ll ever know.”

We need to get into the habit of looking for opportunities and words to encourage others. We’ll be richly rewarded if we will love as Jesus loved.

The 440-yard race in the Special Olympics — This little guy was way out in front of the pack as they headed down the home stretch, so far ahead that he turned to look back and see where the rest of the runners were. But in doing that, he stumbled and fell.

Before he could get up and take off again, the rest of the kids caught up with him. They could have run right by him and beat him to the tape. But do you know what they did? They all stopped and picked him up, and then everyone ran on to the finish line together. There were no losers in the race. They were all winners. If we could pick up just a little of the love that filled their hearts, we would all be winners too.

Let’s conclude with Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:3-5…

Take home message: To love like Jesus loved, let’s work on putting the heart into others around us through kind and thoughtful words and works.

Start an evangelism conversation: “If you were to die tonight, are you sure you would go to heaven?”