Where the Wild Things Are: Disappointments in Raising Children (Psa. 127:3-5)

Where the Wild Things Are
Disappointments in Raising Children
Psalm 127:3-5

INTRODUCTION
Young Max is naughty, engaging in such mischief as chasing after the dog with a fork. His mother calls him a “wild thing,” and, when he is cheeky to her, she sends him to bed without supper. Dressed in a wolf suit, Max is in such a rage that his bedroom starts to turn into a jungle and a boat appears. He sails to the land of the wild things, which are huge monsters with claws. Not frightened of anything, Max tames the wild things, who agree that he is the wildest of them all, and they make him their king. Max decrees, “Let the wild rumpus start,” and he and the wild things dance in the moonlight, hang from the trees, and generally run riot, until Max realizes he misses his mother’s love. Although the wild things beg him to stay, he returns to his bedroom, where his supper is waiting for him.
Although now considered a classic, Where the Wild Things Are was initially met with mixed reviews, as some critics claimed it would traumatize children. However, others praised the work for dealing with childhood anger, noting that it explains the purpose of “time-outs,” assists children with anger management, and teaches them to channel their tempers creatively. It also shows young readers that even if they sometimes want to be wild things, a home with loving discipline is the best place to be. In addition, Max’s adventures demonstrate that children’s imaginations are a wonderful thing, taking them anywhere they want to go.

Ann Landers once asked her readers / parents if they would have children all over again, if they could. More than 70% said they would not. Dissatisfied “customers” may have been more highly motivated to reply. One woman said, “Yes, but not the same ones!”

God did not intend for children to be unpleasant experiences for parents: Psalm 127:3-5.

Some children completely turn out the opposite of how they were raised. Some end up taking their own lives. Who can reach them? Parens, teachers, guidance counselors? They feel the adult world betrayed them.

Some problems seem beyond the possibility of help - mental illness, emotional instability, strong, indomitable self-will. But can there be healthy children? Children of conscientious Christian parents who are introduced to God at an early age and have healthy spiritual values have the upper hand. They are taught by precept and example to be empathetic and sympathetic toward others. They are disciplined firmly but lovingly and consistently. They are comfortable when Mom and Dad are present but they feel safe when Mom and Dad are not present.

That combination - presence and firmness in love - go together.

TIME-TESTED VALUES:
Dr. Richard Blum conducted research with 1,000 middle-class parents and their children over a 3-year period. The conclusion: children of permissive parents had a far greater chance to become hooked on hard drugs than those whose parents were strict but affectionate. Dr. Blum writes that he was shocked to see that the best antidote to drug addiction was old-fashioned moral values. Families that believed in God and country, went to church regularly, loved their children but disciplined them strictly and respect police were not bothered with the drug problem. Parents who believed that children needed to be free to “find themselves”, don’t practice religion, and mistrusted or disrespected authority figures like policemen were generally the ones hooked on drugs.

Charles Eliot, former president of Harvard, said, “Nobody knows how to teach morality effectively without religion.” The USA is now paying a heavy price for making education a god and removing God from education.

Here are some things every child needs from his / her parents:

Stability - Shaky parents can crush a child’s ego. Parents need to be consistent and trustworthy - day after day.

Love - Consistent and communicated & unconditional

Consistent value system - Parents are the primary role model. Inconsistency leads to disorientation

Exemplary / model lifestyle - Look at parents in the OT and see where the parents often are not role models.

Ability to share problems and joys - Listen to little things; then they’ll talk about the big things

Parents who grow with him / her - Children develop and parents have to develop with them; children have to be given greater liberty and greater responsibility as they get older

A few other thoughts:

If the parent is ever out of control, the child is the one in control.
Use action to get action, not emotions to get action.
Use misbehavior as an opportunity to teach and grow.
Don’t make rules you will not enforce.

WHAT ABOUT CHILDREN WHO DISAPPOINT?
Adam and Eve. Noah and Ham. Abraham and Ishmael. Isaac and Jacob. Jacob and Simeon. Jacob and Reuben.

Proverbs 22:6. If children go astray, does this mean the parent failed?
If that were the case, all children would have to be alike.
If that were the case, all parents and parenting styles would have to be alike.
If that were the case, parents would have to be the only influence in the children’s lives.
If that were the case, then would that mean such a child would not / could not fall from grace?

“Train” (Prov. 22:6) means to initiate, to instill. This is all the influences that can bear on a child’s personality and behavior. Many influences are involved in a child’s life: grandparents, teachers and preachers, other church folks, peers and companions, neighbors, books, TV, internet, movies, magazines…

Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21

One key is teaching how to exercise self-control.

There is also heredity and the environment - 1 Corinthians 15:33. Environment plays a role but not exclusively: Joseph and Daniel.

“in the way he should go” - in keeping with his own temperament and disposition

Doesn’t a child have some responsibility in his / her own training process? 1 Sam. 3:13. Children taught the right, have the obligation to do the right.

Solomon began well; he was taught by David and had personal conversations with God, including two appearances from God. But, in his old age, he turned his heart away from God (1 Kings 11).

Take home message: There are no guarantees that our children will stay faithful to parents’ instructions. We can only do our best.